A letter to my son before he becomes a dad himself

There is no better time than today to write you this letter.

I am on a writing holiday here in Spain, with time to relax and reflect on my life. And so I thought, only 1 week to go before my dearest first born is becoming a dad… I do not know a better occasion than now to write to you and tell you a few essential things that I want you to know.

It seems like yesterday when I was pregnant with you, looking forward to the day I could finally see your face and admire the miracle that you are. Needless to say that life changes completely when the first born comes into the family.

And you were all we were hoping you to be. Not just the cutest but also a sensitive little boy with a good character and an amazing attitude toward life and its challenges. Yes, you have that since you were small.

Of course there were times where I did not know how to handle you… Yes, I made a lot of mistakes by yelling at you or being reactive and you know certainly a few more examples, big and small. I did not have a manual on how to educate my child and I do not think any manual can prepare a parent-to-be for parenthood. It is such a unique experience to have this innocent little human being in your arms at first, depending completely on you. And with time, you get more and more influence and responsibility on his evolution. It is the hardest job in the world.

It is a huge task that one needs to consciously take on every single day. And I know you will do it with flying colours because that is who you are, a caring man with his heart in the right place.

You also got a very good example from your own dad on how to be the best father one can be. Because honestly, the only task we really have as a parent is to love your child unconditionally and make him/her as soon as possible independent and self-accountable.

This letter would not be complete without telling you how proud I am to be your mother and soon a granny for your fist born child. You are the son that every mother can only dream of and I thank the Universe for giving me such a precious gift in my life.

I promise you that I will be the best grandmother for your children that you can wish for. Know that you and your family will always be welcome and loved unconditionally. I thank you with all my heart for being the man you are and I hope that you will understand me soon better than ever as a dad.

Once I became a mother myself, I understood my own parents so much better. You will be on the other side now, being the parent instead of the son. Yes, parenting is challenging but o so rewarding.

Just do the best you can and you will be fine!

There is one thing that I insist on telling you… please do not forget to take good care of yourself and to put yourself first. A parent who loves himself and practices daily conscious self-care is proven to be a better parent because one cannot give love from an empty vessel.

“Self-love and Self-care is not selfish; they are your birth right” is my own quote that goes around the world and I want you, my son, to really grasp its truth! Think about what the flight attendant says in the aeroplane about the oxygen mask. “Put it on yourself first before helping your children!”

One last thing, your child is a very lucky soul to have you as his/her dad and come into your family. I cannot wait to meet that little miracle and see you as a proud parent for the first time!

Love you always,

Mamie

Danielle Sax

Writer, speaker and self-care coach specialised in conscious self-care.